06-07-26 written by Nickolette Burnette

a room, the lights on, yet you feel sunk in deep, your attention feels gone, and your focus isn’t caught on anything in the present, but debilitating pain that feels as if it will or already has swallowed you, you may feel numb, and that is actually all you feel anymore – not mad, upset, or even alive. it’s a silent black space inside of you, your mind, your heart maybe. unfazed that you aren’t bothered by it per say. yet the quiet of it makes the tiniest part of you want to possibly panic and think oh no… the Bible tells us that The Light has overcome the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it… years later, how is this pain still even existent? how am I not progressing or healing? why am I, perhaps even still here? something about His Name, Elohim – The God who goes before me, and i find myself in a black whole of darkness. am i living, and this isn’t even the darkest thing that others have faced somehow.. the very souls standing next to you, at church, sitting on a couch with you at home, in the car with you on the way to the grocery store. pain buries itself because it feels too ashamed to feel how it does. pain has lost so much hope that it could stare at it in the face and deny what it is. pain thinks that it was born for that alone and itself that when something good comes it thinks it comes with pain. outcome after outcome, day after day. breath after breath. there is a living God in my chest, do you see this black depth? do you feel what I do? overcome us as the light you are Lord. silence is as loud as pains words are. maybe other times it’s rage, throwing, screaming. but for me, where I am right now. pure silence—- huh God. I showed up, I wonder if that’s enough. I smiled at hundreds of others but my soul was ever still so sitting in the room, blank, numb, and empty. words hold life and death, life is well, light and love. death is darkness and end. u never end God. hold me, don’t let me be consumed. hear the roar of pains words unsaid, Lord. heal me like the woman who bled on the street. Lord, you still rose after death met you. quietly, but breaking the heavens in glory, patiently, while it is for eternity. you lied dead while the third day was coming. your soul captured it’s promise of life even after death. then again, there u are, out of body, wounds that tell our story, a name that tells yours, Jesus King Of Holies. My God. he rose after facing pain that told a word into existence called excruciating… the power of words… one that defines yours pain, no one tells a story like yours. who faced death, humbly, allowing it to happen, just so it could tell history. o my God. Jesus overcame, He lives right next to the empty black room that He knows will save someone… glory in Pain. Majesty and Holy. He is Elohim, The King of Kings. He faced pain. He was no longer alive. Someone went before Him and resurrected Him… o my God. Child, take heart.

Elohim