9/18/26 written by Nickolette Burnette

Hi everyone! I’m so glad that you’re here reading this, and that you are no matter the situation or circumstance that you may currently be in. I’m currently writing this as I myself sit in the middle of somethings- lol, it’s not easy but, hear me – God will use it all. As i’ve recently spoke about my new job, the promotion, and all of that. I’ve found myself in a place wondering if it’s even for me, it feels like the most dreadful weight to even want to start a shift there and for what? it’s a weight of pressure for peoples needs around me, it’s the most stressful thing ever for me mentally to have to take care of and worry about the needs of those around me, truthfully. I don’t know if that selfish. I have no idea why but this is how it feels – breaks, questions, catching up, check-ins. It’s non stop and yet am I ok? No, I need a hug, to breath, and to be left alone for the next 5 minutes. But – mmmmm the last part isn’t per say always -doable-. So, this new leadership position has driven insecurity to purge and wring out of me – and it’s a front row seat for the people around me. I feel like such a mess and disaster. I used to be such a mean person, and that’s all I knew in one way because of how I was raised. I didn’t know kindness, I didn’t know real love. I thought I had to be mean, to protect myself, to be safe. I was surrounded in abuse and perversion. To this day I’m still trying to unlearn, heal, or walk away from that- whatever it may be. And honestly, I’ve prayed so many prayers, I’ve done it all. And to see somethings that I cared so deeply about and that they are where they are has me absolutely pissed off. This is so hard and I just want life for these people. It hurts me to just see the death, pain, agony, unforgiveness, grief, and torment they live in, right now to say. Because God, you are a healer. I acknowledge that and i recognize that this is just extremely hard for me right now. I have it all practically, this, that, the other and that all means nothing to me if they don’t have you God. Nothing matters if they don’t have you. Death, sin, all these things still just pull them back and fourth and it hurts my soul. I grieve that. Holy Spirt, lead me, show me, help me. I can’t do this alone, I can’t begin to even stand up from the aching pain this is in my heart. I need you to move for them God – Anyone reading this please join me in prayer, supplication, and God’s ultimate will for my life and family. I can’t and We can’t do this alone.

Philipp 4:6-7